2011, You Have Taught Me Well

“Happy New Year”, a phrase mentioned accompanied with a handshake or a hug despite whether they’re from a friend, close friend or random acquaintances. Not forgetting to mention crowds of drunken Russians in all their fancy hats and girls competing on who has the shortest skirt or most expensive fur coat wilding in public. Uncanny that I was not entirely enthusiastic about the ending of 2011 merely, but definitely not as keen and fervent as everyone else scattered all around mother Earth. Maybe it's because I'm mentally thinking that my new year starts similarly as my semester in med school, September instead of January because winter exams are ruining the fun and spirit of the New Year. 

The countdown was not as fancy as the ones back home; it was more of a mini Malaysian gathering when we bumped into one another for countdown. I am clued into the fact that I’m not really an outgoing person especially when it comes to large crowds with suffocated by breaths of the many and shrills and shouting for the New Year, hence I stoned in the hostel last year. This year was different apparently, decided to take a walk outside after a casual dinner at Jun’s place which finally lead me to witnessing the countdown with a bunch of friends.

How much does it take for one to fully utilize and enjoy 365 days annually? Does it really take one to set resolutions which we are bound to break? Often we set certain accomplishments yearly, doing the archetypal but seriously resolutions and goals can be set anytime of the year. Hence, I recite to not setting them in my last post of 2011 because I believe that better of go with the flow and whatever life gives us, I'll take it with open arms and whatever roads and bumps I face ahead of me, I'll make sure that I'm in perfect condition to jump over it. 

I never stop to feel frightened to see the days passed so quickly, just to have that thought itself consumes several minutes. To see the giant ‘1’ being stroke out from the calendar, replacing it with a 2. I have grown beyond this transition state as the months were added.

Taken back in April 2011 during spring camp 

I’ve always underestimated the value of being appreciated and supported, honestly. 2011 taught me, through a wonderful circle of members where God has placed me to grow up with, spiritually. I started taking up an interest that I never thought of being interested in – Media. The usual handling of projectors, slide transitions, video making, designing and a bit of decoration. But what are behind all this, is the amazing people that have taught me so much; friends like Dr. Xun Jin & my really good buddy Clez especially. Here and there, I’ve pick up a lot along this trail. Being so supportive in this field that I find passion at, the support that not everyone can gain from close friends or even parents.

I learn to start putting more faith in God, to maintain this special relationship with the one up there. I once shared this during cell group that in a Christian life, apart from faith and hope, what's most important - Growth. We say that we grow as we walk along with God, but how much did we actually grow? In pico-meters? Nanometers? It doesn't matter . I never realized how important this ‘growth’ can be when a very close friend mentioned to me that she is somehow ‘moved’ and motivated by the way I deal with God, the way I put a certain amount of faith in doing God’s works. That she, decided to start picking up a habit in her own religion as well. It’s an immense feeling of unspeakable chain of words to actually be an exemplar and inspiration to those around you especially when they are of different religion. Unknowingly, I have again… took a leap forward.

Bowling session, taken around late spring of 2011 

Not forgetting a bunch of batch mates that I owe my thanks to, regardless that we skip lectures to meet up, regardless that we don't interact as much as our group mates, regardless that we might walk on different levels of friendship. Little by little, we share the same dream and goals to be better doctors in the future. I've trained myself to have better mindsets, I've learned to stop comparing myself to those around because it's an infinite tiresome 'workload', those that are better than you are everywhere. But I've also become competent in appreciating the effort of those friends around me who have shared their knowledge when it comes to studies.

Taken on the night before New Year's Eve

It was an entire contrastive scenario, one can live alone facing 4 empty walls in secondary school and make it alive with a handful of As. University & batch mates, that's when I realized that being alone, being selfish leads one to no where. Indeed, those who share will, in one way or another gain more than those who keep hold onto everything to him/herself. Group 29 mates who has been along with me during my studies in Russia. All the drama we shared, all the mindless gibberish talks, all the intellectual debates summed up to a fabulous year; and hopefully more to come in the future.

MF Mission Trip to Sibu

2011, I decided to participate in the humanitarian mission trip organized by Malaysian Fellowship, Moscow to Sibu. To give, serve & love, as it is, a brand new experience of temporarily migrating from the urban city to those rural areas where vehicles are hardly accessible. To notice the innocence of children in the rural areas of Sibu, to grasp their lives and education and simultaneously be grateful of what I have that I’ve always take for granted of, to mingle with the local people and experience their warmth though it may only be a half an hour flight from my hometown. All in all, MF mission trip has thought me how to take flight from my own comfort zone and be in others’ shoes.

I remembered a scene of an elderly with glaucoma or something related, begging, literally in tears begging with hope for us to save her from what she’s going through. Not many people have the opportunity to have their wish granted; certainly she was one of the unlucky ones. This elderly has taught me to care for more [even if it sounds cliché], and have compassion for others.

Taken in Salzburg, summer of 2011

Many individuals will cross your path, some will stay, and some will go. All had their purpose as you did in their lives. A true friend is one who knows you inside out and no matter how far geographically, in which latitude you are lodged at. These people have seen the best of me, and also the worst of me. It took me a while to find them, but trust me; I am lucky to be one of the lucky few to have these two buddies like Mike & Eelin as my soul friends because not everyone are as fortunate as me. I thank them for being there in my best and at my very worst, when I mentioned worst means it was a real hell of shit I went through.  

Family portrait taken late autumn of 2011

They have watched me grow to become who I am today. I learned not to hold on to friends, but to let friendship take its course. If a friendship ends, I am grateful for the time and move on. If I end a friendship to keep my life clear from negative influence, I am grateful for whatever that person taught me. My dear sis, Lily who somehow.. just somehow, clicked with me and shared an understanding that no one can possibly ever share with. Family, I love you. 

2012, let's see where you will take me this time.